Your Core Wisdom Will Make You a More Empathetic Leader and Team Member
By “Performing Self” I mean the self you show up as when you feel like you don’t have a choice but to conform or hide who you are, because otherwise you believe people will reject, hate, or judge you. The Performing Self is part of my Three Selves Framework™ – an innovative and inspiring model for living, working, and leading more authentically (you can learn more here and here).
As I share in my best-selling books, We’ve Got This and The Authenticity Principle – both of which are on the importance of authenticity and belonging – I thought I needed my Performing Self to help shield myself from others’ scrutiny and mask the pain I was carrying inside of me. I was performing across all areas of my life, but the most insidious way was probably my fixation on constantly being positive, perfect, and in achievement mode – especially in the workplace.
If I could keep projecting sunshine, achieving a ten out of ten on everything I did, and winning accolades, then maybe I’d finally be accepted and feel like I belonged. I mastered the art of this positivity-perfection-achievement act to the point where it became an integral part of my Performing Self at work. You could say I had “PPA” tattooed on my chest. This way of being ultimately struck at my ability to be empathetic and compassionate towards myself.
It’s my CORE WISDOM that made me realize that I don’t need to be perfect and constantly achieving to experience personal, and professional joy. In fact, through my healing work, I now know that to experience belonging in the workplace, it’s so important that we rid ourselves of the relentless pressure we feel to be perfect achievers, especially as leaders (more on that in a moment). This is what it looks like to practice empathy for ourselves.
By core wisdom, I mean your inner knowing that helps you to take care of yourself. It’s your core wisdom that guides you to tune in to, understand, and settle your body and mind so that you feel more connected to who you are. It’s what has helped to move me from constantly feeling unlovable, and therefore being so hard on myself, to feeling beautiful about my Authentic Self, which has been critical for my career development – especially as a leader.
On this note, know that your core wisdom as a leader is essential for your personal joy, but it also matters in the workplace. What do I mean by this? When you have a more regulated nervous system, feel more mindful and still, are able to better track what you’re thinking and feeling. This directly impacts the quality of your leadership. In growing and tapping into your core wisdom, you’ll: make better decisions; understand how you’re judging others; be more adaptive, inclusive, and empowered; and, importantly, practice greater empathy.
And, of course, all of this helps to create greater belonging in the workplace – for yourself and for others.
So how can you learn more about growing your core wisdom? Here are some important resources that you can leverage:
- My new book We’ve Got This, which includes a full section on how to grow your core wisdom
- bci’s dedicated playlist, Cultivating Authenticity and Belonging, where you can find more videos on core wisdom
- My personal empowerment playlist, Experience Belonging, where you can find core wisdom videos
- My Instagram post, where I share some inspiration on how to cultivate your core wisdom
- My LinkedIn post, where I share a conversation I had on cultivating core wisdom
I hope these tools help you! And, as always, I’d love to hear from you about your journey with leveraging your inner wisdom.