Flow Between Your Authentic Self and Adapted Self – Part 2, a Spotlight on The Three Selves Framework™
In last month’s blog, I spotlighted my Three Selves Framework™ – a model for living, working, and leading more authentically AND for cultivating greater belonging in the workplace. It’s a tool that I flesh out at length in both my bestselling books, The Authenticity Principle and We’ve Got This – and it’s fundamental for inclusive leadership.
As I shared in the blog, the Three Selves™ approach highlights that each of us has the following three selves: the Authentic Self, the Adapted Self, and the Performing Self.
In this blog, I want to highlight the importance of knowing how and when to flow between your Authentic Self and Adaptive Self, because this is a learned skill that will help you to claim belonging.
Recall that your Authentic Self is who you are at your core – a reflection of your values, beliefs, needs, desires, thoughts, emotions, and traits. It’s how you would behave if you didn’t fear the consequences of your behavior. No one can be their Authentic Self 100% of the time, and this is where the Adapted Self comes in. Your Adapted Self is who you are when you make a choice to adjust your behavior to meet your own needs, and others’ needs. When you show up as your Adapted Self, you choose to do this, it feels good, it serves you and others, and it’s still a reflection of your authenticity.
Sometimes you’ll want or need to choose to show up as your Adapted Self, especially in moments where being your Authentic Self doesn’t feel safe or you just don’t want to. But in other moments, it’ll feel safe and empowering to be your Authentic Self.
How can you know when to show up as your Authentic Self or Adaptive Self, or even flow between the two?
The key is to leverage a powerful internal resource you hold within – which I describe in detail in my new book We’ve Got This – called your CORE WISDOM. Your core wisdom is the knowledge you hold within that leads you to tune in to and understand what your body and mind are signaling and what to do about this.
By tuning in to your body and mind, you’ll know how you want to behave from minute to minute, person to person, and moment to moment. In other words, your body and mind will tell you whether it feels right for you to show up as your Authentic Self or Your Adapted Self.
I dig deeper into understanding how to use and grow your core wisdom online and, in particular, in my Instagram Reels. And I even have a (free!) Empower Page that you that can use to help you with this important reflection.
Finally, as I shared last month, know that the Three Selves Framework™ is a game-changer for claiming your belonging and showing up as an inclusive leader. I promise you that it will transform how you live, work, and lead.
Try it out and let me know how it goes!
Reach out to the bci team here to learn more about our range of cutting-edge programming on how to cultivate authenticity and belonging in the workplace.
If you’re looking for more authenticity and belonging related resources, check out:
- bci’s dedicated playlist: Cultivating Authenticity and Belonging
- bci’s tip sheet: Cultivating Belonging in the Workplace
- bci’s tip sheet: 4 Essential Inclusion Skills for Authentic Leadership
- Article: Authenticity: The Transformative Approach to Building Inclusive Environments
- My blog page: Belong to Yourself
- My Belonging Toolkit