Flow Between Your Authentic Self and Adapted Self – Part 2, a Spotlight on The Three Selves Framework™

In last month’s blog, I spotlighted my Three Selves Framework™ – a model for living, working, and leading more authentically AND for cultivating greater belonging in the workplace. It’s a tool that I flesh out at length in both my bestselling books, The Authenticity Principle and We’ve Got This – and it’s fundamental for inclusive leadership.

As I shared in the blog, the Three Selves™ approach highlights that each of us has the following three selves: the Authentic Self, the Adapted Self, and the Performing Self.

In this blog, I want to highlight the importance of knowing how and when to flow between your Authentic Self and Adaptive Self, because this is a learned skill that will help you to claim belonging.

Recall that your Authentic Self is who you are at your core – a reflection of your values, beliefs, needs, desires, thoughts, emotions, and traits. It’s how you would behave if you didn’t fear the consequences of your behavior. No one can be their Authentic Self 100% of the time, and this is where the Adapted Self comes in. Your Adapted Self is who you are when you make a choice to adjust your behavior to meet your own needs, and others’ needs. When you show up as your Adapted Self, you choose to do this, it feels good, it serves you and others, and it’s still a reflection of your authenticity.

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Sometimes you’ll want or need to choose to show up as your Adapted Self, especially in moments where being your Authentic Self doesn’t feel safe or you just don’t want to. But in other moments, it’ll feel safe and empowering to be your Authentic Self.

How can you know when to show up as your Authentic Self or Adaptive Self, or even flow between the two?

The key is to leverage a powerful internal resource you hold within – which I describe in detail in my new book We’ve Got This – called your CORE WISDOM. Your core wisdom is the knowledge you hold within that leads you to tune in to and understand what your body and mind are signaling and what to do about this.

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By tuning in to your body and mind, you’ll know how you want to behave from minute to minute, person to person, and moment to moment. In other words, your body and mind will tell you whether it feels right for you to show up as your Authentic Self or Your Adapted Self. 

I dig deeper into understanding how to use and grow your core wisdom online and, in particular, in my Instagram Reels. And I even have a (free!) Empower Page that you that can use to help you with this important reflection.

Finally, as I shared last month, know that the Three Selves Framework™ is a game-changer for claiming your belonging and showing up as an inclusive leader. I promise you that it will transform how you live, work, and lead. 

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

Reach out to the bci team here to learn more about our range of cutting-edge programming on how to cultivate authenticity and belonging in the workplace.

If you’re looking for more authenticity and belonging related resources, check out:

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bhasin consulting inc. is a world-renowned leadership and DEI consulting firm that’s recognized for shifting leadership, cultivating belonging, growing empathy, and unlocking psychological safety in workplaces.

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LAND ACKNOWLEDGMENT

The bci team primarily works from lands that are part of the Dish With One Spoon Territory, a treaty between the Anishinaabe, Mississaugas, and Haudenosaunee that brought these communities together to share, serve, and protect these lands.

bci is deeply committed to honoring the spirit of this treaty, and we recognize our privilege in enjoying the benefits of these lands, which supports all that we do. We’re passionately focused on undertaking our work in alignment with the values of Truth and Reconciliation, and we actively seek to decolonize societal and workplace systems, as well as our individual behaviors.

Dr. Komal Bhasin, MSW, MHSc, DocSocSci

Komal is bci’s Senior DEI Consultant and Mental Health Expert-in-Residence and an accomplished DEI facilitator, coach, and strategist. Komal has over 20 years of experience in providing strategic and advisory guidance and program development across a range of sectors, with a particular concentration in mental health and racial inclusion. Komal is also the founder of Insayva Inc., a social enterprise focused on providing accessible DEI and health equity support to charities and non-profit organizations.

Komal has extensive experience in creating and delivering programming in a range of DEI areas, including unconscious bias, cultural competence, mental health inclusion, psychological safety, and allyship. She is passionate about driving transformational change in workplaces and has worked closely with bci clients – corporations, professional service firms, health care providers, and educational institutions – to embed cultures of DEI within their organizations.

Komal has provided one-on-one inclusion coaching to hundreds of senior leaders and brings a unique approach that is informed by her background as a psychotherapist. Using a trauma-informed lens and somatic approaches, she also has experience guiding leaders and teams in mending relationships, and rebuilding trust where harm has occurred due to inequities, intercultural conflict, value mismatches, exclusion, and psychological or geopolitical safety issues, with the goal of creating a more inclusive, resilient or organizational culture.

Komal also offers a performance coaching program designed specifically for BIPOC leaders. This program aims to help BIPOC leaders harness their place, position, and identity to thrive in the workplace and beyond. Komal is a qualified administrator of the Intercultural Development Inventory (IDI).

As bci’s Mental Health Expert-in-Residence, Komal offers tremendous expertise around workplace mental health. As a doctoral trained mental health clinician, certified health executive, and registered social worker, Komal has assisted organizations looking to advance employee mental health inclusion and well-being through offering programming on inclusive dialogue, anti-stigma, burnout prevention, psychological safety, resilience, and self-care. Komal is committed to advancing mental health and wellness across the life course; she currently serves on the board of the Alzheimer’s Society of Ontario and previously served on the board of Children’s Mental Health Ontario and the YMCA of Greater Toronto.

When Komal is not working, you’ll find her painting, cooking or snuggling with her cat.

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