The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace
Excerpted from Minda Harts’ new book Talk to Me Nice: The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace. Minda is an award-winning Workplace Consultant, Speaker & Author of The Memo.
Every year Fortune publishes a report highlighting the best companies to work for. Part of the survey and findings include employee satisfaction. Some companies that ranked high on employee satisfaction are Hilton, Cisco, Wegmans Food Markets, Capital One, and American Express. Another company to highlight that, over the years, I have been highly in awe of is Patagonia. Patagonia is known for its humane business practices, commitment to social and environmental causes, and culture of transparency, which enriches the overall trust and employee experience. Employee well-being, trust, and satisfaction go a long way! The company’s CEO, Ryan Gellert, said, “We aim to use the resources we have—our business, our investments, our voice, and our imaginations—to do something about it.” One of their core values are their workers’ rights and wages. They foster diversity and pride themselves in speaking truth to power on important issues that impact their employees. I realize no company is perfect, but one that centers on sustainability as well as employee well-being isn’t a bad place to consider working when you look at some alternatives. Patagonia is a highly successful company, so if they value trust from their vendors and employees, then trust is clearly good for business. My goal in this book is to show you a pathway to gain, build, and restore trust so you can have a thriving career. Trust in the workplace doesn’t have to be this mythical character; it can be the main character with the right tools in your tool kit.
The T Factor
I will repeat it for the people in the back: Trust is now more critical than ever, and the cost of not restoring trust could lead to the downfall of many companies and leaders. When managers understand how to coach their employees based on what languages are most important to them, productivity will be on ten. I have given you the cheat code. Managing is not one-size-fits-all; it takes understanding and educating ourselves on the nuances of the team and the people on that team.
Employees wanted to trust back in the day, and trust still ain’t gone outta style. Why wouldn’t we want trust in our work if we value trust in any other relationships? I recently did a poll across my social media platforms and asked a simple question: When a manager or colleague breaks your trust, in what ways would you like them to take action toward reconciling, if any?
Here are some of the top responses:
Are they self-aware enough to make amends with you and rebuild trust? If they are not capable of doing it, it’s time to move on, and I know finding a new job can be difficult.
At that point, I have no interest in reconciliation. A public apology (with no action) is performative, and their efforts have already shown me “what time it is.” I’d have zero in- terest in putting myself in another scenario where they can do it again.
To begin with, a solution-oriented action plan, then actu- ally do what you committed to.
Awareness and follow through. Acknowledging that what they did was wrong. I’d settle for an “I messed up.” It’s easy.
Trust is earned in drops and lost in buckets. For me, ac-tions are critical. If it moves like a snake, it’s a snake. I can move on quickly, but I’ll never trust you again. I can refocus on work.
If there’s any redemption, it must start with their under- standing and acknowledging that they were wrong.
Accountability to start, and a genuine apology with a strategy to move forward.
Is it the ACT or the RESPONSE? I can forgive and get past almost any act.
We see a solid pattern here. All of these answers point back to communicating, and all of these answers fall within one of the seven trust languages. In most of these cases, people want a path to trust again, and unfortunately, some people in the workplace need help on the restoration part. That is where this book comes in. Talk to Me Nice is necessary for everyone employed at your company or organization.
The languages that we will get very intimate with don’t have to come up only when trust is breached; they can be imple- mented to establish trust, which is equally vital. When you go on your next job interview, use the seven workplace trust lan- guages and ask pointed questions so you can gauge if this is a place where you can grow and have a thriving career.
Your Voice Is Your Power
Brené Brown stated in her book Daring Greatly, “Vulnerability is not weakness.” If you articulate your wants and needs to the people you spend the most time with, that is not a sign of weakness but a sign of leadership. Companies, leaders, and colleagues want to do right by you, but first, they need to know what that looks like from you.
Redefining trust in the workplace is revolutionary, but this revolution, unlike the Industrial Revolution, is rooted in humanity. Nine times out of ten, when trust is broken, someone lights a fire and burns the whole thing down, leaving no room for reconciliation. But what if managers held space to listen to their employees when they said having a priest at work makes them uncomfortable—regardless if he’s real or not? Often we can’t get to trust in the workplace because of fear.
To learn more about the seven workplace trust languages of sensitivity, transparency, security, demonstration, feedback, acknowledgment, and follow-through, read Minda Harts’ new book Talk to Me Nice.
Reach out to the bci team here to learn more about our range of leadership programming, and check out the following resources that connect to workplace trust and belonging:
- Blogs:
- Tip Sheets:
- 7 Leadership Must-Dos for Creating Belonging During Difficult Times
- Cultivating Belonging in the Workplace
- How to Create Psychological Safety in the Workplace
- 4 Essential Inclusion Skills for Authentic Leadership
- How to Develop Empathy as a Skill in the Workplace
- 6 Tips for Repairing Relationships in the Workplace
- Playlists: